Using four letter words as a stress reliever (Rated R for language)

Kids. A blessing. The hardest job you'll ever love. Remember my post about surrender? If not, you can read it here. If you are going to survive their growing up, and keep your sanity, this surrendering is not optional .I'm really having to practice this on a daily basis. 

My husband and I are doing the best we can. Kids do not come with a how-to-manual. Even if they did, it would not be a one size fits all. There is a lot of debate about nurture vs. nature. You can provide a safe, nurturing environment. You can be a nuclear family, but the way they are wired is the way they are wired. I believe if someone wants to change their behavior, using cognitive behavioral therapy, you can. It's not a magic wand and will take alifetime commitment. I do know what I'm talking about.

What do you do if someone does not want to acknowledge unhealthy thinking and/or actions. This is where the surrendering comes in handy. Also, a good support system. Parents should not feel isolated when things are tough. I'm thankful for my husband, circle of friends, and my therapist. 

Don't leave your children alone, even if they slam doors in your face and yell "leave me alone!" They don't really mean it, no matter what they say. It's really easy for me to become overwhelmed with how to best love my kids. Being consistent and providing a safe haven from their storms is probably the best you can do. 

There is no such thing as a perfect parent, because there is no such thing as a perfect child.

Pray for me. I'm praying for you.

Persisting

I have continued to be able to persist. This is really, really great! It really is, because I don't have a very good track record. Since I resigned from my job I have had a tremendous relief from stress. It was a good job, don't get me wrong. It was just one that had me operating out of the way I am wired. I had this job for 3 years. The longest time of employment since I left my first job of almost 17 years.

It might not seem like a big deal, and actually you might be calling me an under achiever (or lazy, or lucky...but it doesn't really matter,  'cause what you think of me is none of my business.) The fact is my mental health hell began during my last pregnancy in 1999. What started out as a decision to be a stay at home mom, became a struggle to be well. It has been a greater struggle at times than others, and the past 12 months have been the longest time of struggling in quite awhile.

I have the opportunity to concentrate on my art full time (again), but this time without small children. I am a professional persevere-er (look out Dr. Suess.) My power has increased and I am actually living the dream. I am selling more of my art now than I have ever. It helps that I am creating my own art consistently for the first time! I am so full of stored up ideas, and I don't think I'll ever run out. I have received confirmation over and over that I am doing the right thing. I am trusting God will continue to provide for our needs. I am actually OK setting aside my wants.

I am persisting every day. One step at a time.

What the duck?

Have you seen this before?  This was my day.  Damn it!  Try as I might the effers just did their own thing.  My ducks happen to come in the form of teenagers.  One is off in college almost 500 miles away, and got a concussionn. In the midst of life happening all around me, I was consumed (like all moms) by trying to care for him.  It all worked out and he is fine.  The other two also have my heart and devotion.  I bleed for them when shit happens.  

My life did get somewhat better when I gave my kids to God to care for.  He is way better at it than me, and that kind of surrender is good for my soul.

I am still screwed up with my sleep, but I am determined that this will not spiral my mental stability out of control.  I just want to be normal.

Don't get me wrong,  I love my ducklings.  I would give my life for them, but the time is coming when their waddling off is out of my control. OK. You do see the irony in that last sentence.  Having my kids is the best and hardest thing I've ever done, and no matter how much I bitch and complain,  I would do it over again.  Probably.  Most likely.

So, do you think you're normal?  I'd like to know what makes you think that.