Yes, this is me right now.
This is a simpler visual of this cycle...
How did I get this way? Today I am using my recovery tools to investigate. Let's look at the acronym for HALT.
H=hungry
A=angry
L=lonely
T=tired
Usually, when I am experiencing more than one of this things at a time, or one for an extended time, then the cycle commences.
Hungry...not so much. I am upset with myself about my weight, and the fact I am not doing anything about it. (Sidebar...I have done well so far today though!)
Angry...my anger reached a boiling point on Saturday. I did remember to tell my husband to watch out, but know it was not about him.
Lonely...it is has been an adjustment with my schedule. I was working most days with others, and now I am home most hours by myself.
Tired...well, that's the biggie. The one that is usually the biggest trigger. My sleep has been so screwy. Add the fact that I am not wearing my CPAP (for sleep apnea), well you probably get the idea.
Now that I have identified my triggers and confessed them to you, let me tell you, and remind myself, I am doing better than I think I am. How you ask? Ok, maybe you didn't ask, but I'm gonna tell you anyway. If I want to change my behavior, I have to make different decisions. I decided to eat better today! I can make that choice at every meal (and snack.) The more I am on my own with my schedule, I am learning that I still need to take time for "me time." Also, blogging today lets me visit with you. Tired, well, I will get myself to bed earlier. As for wearing the mask, honestly I don't notice a difference in how I feel if I wear it or not. Sometimes I actually sleep worse because the mask wakes me up when it slips out of place. When you place all those things in the washing machine the cycle stays on agitated. And boy, do I get angry.
I'm feeling off today, and that's ok. There, I said it. It's ok not to be ok. A bad day does not make a bad life. Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better.
Take care cause I care!
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